i n s p i r e d . . . - s e n t i m e n t

why do you look so familiar? i can swear that i have seen your face before

Thu, 2 Oct 2008 08:15:39 CDT

During local election time, it's always fun to see the candidate supporters on the bank of streets with their respective representative banners. This morning I couldn't help but laugh as I watched an insanely animated gentleman frantically pointing at a driver as his face gesture suggested that he is staring into the eyes of a major rocker. It's entertaining the way anyone who is paying attention to them are treated like they are the star of the show. Sometimes, when the mood strikes me, I just ignore the politics, not really caring who's rallying for what party, and frantically smile and wave back.

and when the wind is right, you can sail away and find serenity

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 07:08:57 CDT

I'm going to fly for a bit. While I'll admit, you'll be in my thoughts only sometimes, you'll always be in my heart.

all the things you said to me today changed my perspective in every way

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:29:04 CDT

It's become quite easy to forget just how much work I've put into this when I find myself, like today, getting out of my car to fetch the mail and feeling like the whole world had to inhale just to make room for me. It feels like everyone can clearly see that I'm the same frumpy person who's just wearing better fitting clothing to mask the old me they know is there. It's so consuming that I begin having arguments with myself to the degree where I digress and settle with nothing is much different and I haven't really done anything to change my life, after all. But then I make my way to the door, which has a body length reflection in it, and gasp under my breath at just how different I look these days. Having the realization that my hard work is validated in what I see, I'm glad I didn't give up the way I always used to.

everything wrong gonna be alright come september

Tue, 9 Sep 2008 08:45:20 CDT

How exactly are you supposed to celebrate a person when nothing seems appropriate and everything falls short of what you know they deserve? How do you repay someone for years of understanding and comfort, through smooth times and rough? There is not a day that goes by where he doesn't find a way to make me laugh. He is my biggest cheerleader even when my delusions convince me he's playing for the opposing team. There are not enough resources available in this world to repay him for all of the inspiration he has provided me with nor enough words to string together to express how much I appreciate him being my hero of the day... every day. There is no other like him and no other who could love me as completely as he does. Happy birthday, my Gin. You are truly the brightest star in my sky.

believe in me 'cause i was made for chasing dreams

Fri, 5 Sep 2008 16:29:25 CDT

I'm back though I'm not the person I was just a few short days ago. Many things have transpired to alter my life. Soon, I hope to share them. I appreciate the support I received in my absence from those who really care about me. It's been a tough road but I realize I am truly blessed.

hold on its tragic, stumbling through all this static

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:54:42 CDT

Resting my head on my arms, I wonder why the world can't just work my way? Meaning, when I see someone that I want happiness for, why can't their troubles just dissipate and they instantly become happy? Make the stars align and give endless amounts of open doors. Smiles abound, cares away. Is that really too much to ask? To want to put aside all of my being for the simple cause of someone else being in a better place in their life? I have always said that I just want to be good for people. Be good. Do good. There's far too much time wasted to unhappiness and it would be so nice to have the power to make dreams come true.

and the words you left me linger on

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 09:05:15 CDT

I was once told by an ex that I didn't love him as much as a prior love because I wouldn't go the extra mile for him. While ultimately, he may have had a valid point, now that I think back on it knowing my ideas on love have significantly changed-- at the time, it was irrelevant to my reasoning. In retrospect, it wasn't that I loved him any less, it was simply that I loved myself more than the both of them.

i'll mend myself before it gets me

Tue, 5 Aug 2008 11:00:39 CDT

I'm beginning to think that perhaps we find ourselves in certain situations repeatedly because we missed the opportunities before to rise above them... or come out of them stronger, or more knowledgeable. Often times, I am put in predicaments that I am unhappy with, and all the while I enable the situation to continue by not speaking up. I dance around the topic while complaining that I wish something would change. Eventually, circumstances change, along with my current focus, and what was once a nuisance becomes a non-issue, and I'm dealt a new trial through which to navigate. It gets comfortable not having the past worry on the table until, of course, it arises again, and the tangled web of chaos that is my mind resurfaces. I have always wished that I could be stronger mentally, emotionally, and physically, and I think that until I finally face my fears by standing up for what I believe is right, my silence will always be driven by them.

try to figure me out, you never can, there's so many things i am

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:01:14 CDT

I am smart and beautiful. Many people appreciate my company. I am greatly loved. My words are powerful and have meaning. No one focuses on my shortcomings. Good things are in store for me. I am inspired and driven to accomplish my goals. I gain nothing in negative thinking but worry and stress. I own many blessings that I am grateful for. I have a wonderful life. My friends and family are the greatest gifts I will ever receive. I love myself for who I am and who I will become. I am in charge of my own success. I am magnificent. I am special. I am unique.

you may be flat but you're breathing

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:10:19 CDT

Underneath, it's like when getting what you want doesn't even make you happy anymore. As if you want to be loved, accepted and cared for unconditionally and somehow in getting that, you manage to shift your ideas about whose role is what and where you stand or how you think people should react to you but they won't. It's insanely maddening! Because on the one hand, you don't want to be the person you are when you're around them but yet, you can't stand the person you are when you're without them. And you constantly question your motives and overanalyze and you play music like somehow that's going to explain your life away. Has the world gone completely insane or have you just finally found a picture on the wall that doesn't actually belong to you? Oh and of course, you would get to the point where you don't even know what you're saying anymore.