i n s p i r e d . . .

I wish sometimes I could completely clear the old clutter out of my mind and totally forget about things. Much like the recycle bin on my desktop. One click, all trash gone. It'd be so nice to let go of grudges, forgive, move on, and just be objectively optimistic and happy. Though, these are the moments that shape who we are, it'd still be nice to get the burden out of there so it never hits my shoulders again in that particular fashion. Make sense? lol.

I learned today that a problem that often resurfaces in my life will never change because that person wants to perpetuate the madness. Trying to rise above someone else's insanity is particularly difficult. We often underestimate ourselves in measuring our strengths. I think sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit. I believe that's especially true of you. I wish you could see yourself through our eyes, those of us who love you. You're amazing!

I'm the same way. I definetly need to speak up more often, but I allow things to happen because I do not want to rock the boat or make anyone uncomfortable. But sometimes, being quiet is good, too. It's hard to know what direction is best sometimes. But, I think you're great. lol. If that makes ya feel any better. lol. Have a great day, woman.

aaahhhh.... so very true.

It's so difficult to know when to say something, and when to bite your tongue. Unfortunately, the only way to learn is to painfully analyze each scenario after you've experienced it. The trick, though, is to let go once you feel you've learned the necessary lesson. *hug*

So true, so true!!! I think I love you! lol It's called making peice with your past! Until you do, you learn nothing! P.S. I'm still trying to get the page together, but BELIEVE ME, you'll be the first to know. *wink*

Punctuation is our friend.

I have read your posts through the times, though I have never left a comment until now. I am a 3rd year Psyche Major at Yale. This is only the fourth time I have left an entry. I have visited many blogs for research purposes, (yours was one of them), and for information purposes. May I tell you my findings? I, in no way intend to be mean, hurtful nor offensive to you. Behind these screens, we all can be who we want to be, with noone the wiser. I realize that. I think you are very hurt. You feel that you have come from a very disfunctional family and you have a deep-seeded hate for parents and siblings, for the wrongs you felt were done to you. Oh, you would never admit it, nor even acknowledge it, but, it's there, just the same. You write abstract, which is a form of release to you in some way, because those not knowing, can easily be 'put in their place' in your mind, without ever knowing what you were really talking about. It won't cause hurt or friction, but you get your voice heard. You don't 'stay in one place' too long. You bounce around, which is part of your mystery, the 'hiding', so to speak. I follow you through friends who post. Most of them don't change sites. That is another characteristic of the inner turmoil going on inside of you. You have to have constant change. Nothing is ever good enough. You always strive for the better. Now, that in itself is not a bad thing. But, it seems to follow every aspect of your life. Your running, aerobics, etc. It's a need you have. Why do you feel like you always have to improve yourself? Isn't who you see in the mirror not likable enugh? Why the constant change? Do you see your mom or dad, in that image?? Is that the problem? Until you are happy with who you are, inside and out, you will never be at peace. Everybody, no matter who they are, have some imperfection. Even in their life, upbringing, every aspect of their being. I wish peace and contentment for you. Please find your solace. Your drive will get the better of you, if you are not careful. Make peace with who you are, and who you have become. Be happy with you. Nothing else matters, except your sanity. With the utmost admiration and respect, Kevin

I appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts, Kevin. You've read me pretty well... with a couple exceptions. Take care.

I'm with you D :)

Joo are very wise, my friend. And Phillip is a very good punctuator. :p Yeah. I made that up. Good, no?

hey chicka.. i have also gone down that road of laying blame on myself for things in the past that i had no real control over. it eats you up inside.. and you tend to repeat the blame game on everything else that goes wrong in your life. its important to remember tho, the other things that you've managed to do fantastically. and hey mate, you do LOTS of great stuff! plus, you are a pretty wonderful friend who is caring/compassionate/considerate & oh so generous. =) oh, and i have absolutely no comprehension of punctuation...so 'scuse my feralness. =p oxoxox

deirdre, i'm sorry...my comment below is addressed to kevin burstein: --------------------------- kevin, after reading your comment above, i sat here stunned speechless for several minutes. your audacity and unbelievably bad online etiquette is...well, unbelievable. whether you were correct in your analysis (and i believe you were pretty far offbase), whatever made you think it would be appropriate or even vaguely ethical to state your "3rd year psyche findings" here in a public venue? if you felt such a strong need to convey your thoughts to deirdre, why wouldn't you choose a more private means? like, oh i don't know, email? or is yale no longer offering professional ethics courses to students? and by the way, it's "deep-seated" and "dysfunctional." for your research records and all. --------------------------- d: sorry. but that really rankled.

<3, Jude.

You git 'em Jude!! =D

Blink. I went to comment to your post and see some...Psyche Major rambling. ....First things first. Perhaps your right in saying that until we rise above the problems and really try to fix them we will have to deal with them over and over again. I find that somethings just like to pop up just to piss you off though (for a lack of better words). I can't count the times I have been able to say "there! i fixed that now didn't I?!" Only to have it bite me again. Perhaps I am not fixing it right? Either way..it would be really nice if crap would just stay barried after we throw them from our shoulders. And to the creepy Kevin guy. Seriously, If you are a psyche major what gives you the right to come onto someones blog and spew all that? This blog is for Deidre to come on here and write her own feelings. Not for some stranger who really knows absolutely nothing about Deidre to come on here and supposedly write her inner most thoughts. If she thinks those things and actually wanted us to know that she would have written it on her blog and it wouldn't really be a question as to whats going on. But she hasn't. And that is the joy of an online blog. You can write what you want and leave what ever you want out. Perhaps you should actually grow come feelings onto that spine of yours and stop swallowing up someones blog because you feel the need to type. And nice to know that you are stalking her for your "research"

For a "3rd year Psyche Major at Yale" Kevin sure has a problem with simple psychological evaluations. Besides the fact that the first thing they teach you in psychology, besides to not try and evaluate yourself, is to not evaluate someone that hasn't asked for it, the comment was in very poor taste, and was even surprisingly wrong. Any literate dipshit could see that you are continually trying to improve yourself, and anyone with any common sense would know that it's a good thing to do so. And FYI, I don't believe for one second that "kevin burstein" is a psychology student, let alone an Ivy League student. If he is, then I am REALLY wasting my life lol.