i don't know what's right and what's real anymore
July 01, 2008

My biggest worry is that when I hand her over and she doesn't want to go, she feels like I am rejecting her.  How do you explain to a three year old that there are just rules in life we have to follow, even when it's the last thing we want to do?  It breaks my heart to have to walk away from her knowing she's reaching her arms out to me and crying.  I wonder, should I cry too?  Would that let her know that I'm not happy about this circumstance any more than she is or is it my job to remain upbeat and smile?  I continually reassure her that there will be another chance for us to be together; that I will return soon.  But that really doesn't offer either of us comfort in the moment when we both need it most.


There are 13 Comments for i don't know what's right and what's real anymore

It's really hard for children to understand. The wonderful thing is that all you have to do is keep showing up. I may be repeating myself but the fact that she does cry when you leave is a huge testament to your love for her and y'all's relationship. I know it's not the same, but when I can't be with the wee one in my life, I send her cards in the mail and little gifts. That way she knows I'm thinking of her all the time. As she grows older, she'll always remember that you came back. You're doing right by her -- one day she'll understand that. The bad thing is that none of what I said makes it any better for either of you. Hugging you, princess.
from Susan 5 months ago
I spent the afternoon with my brother the other day. We hadn't seen each other in several years. It was a little weird, but it was good too. At least it wasn't bad, right?
from John Furie Zacharias 5 months ago
Dang commenting here is hard. But she'll understand as she gets older. Just so she knows you love her. Many hugs for you.
from Andrea 5 months ago
First thing..gotta agree with Andrea above..it IS bloody hard to see where ya type in ya name etc!!! ..soz mate, don't mean to be a pain in da arse... =( Anyhoo... little kids are resilliant tykes, they are crying one minute, and as soon as you give them something to take their mind off, say a lolly or let them watch telly..they are happy again. Sorta like me! =D Seriously though, long term, she will not remember the sad , hard times when you separated...she will only recall all the fun times and love... It is a difficult situation of course... and for you it must be hell to leave.. I know exactly what you are going through, honestly, I do... Hugzz friend.. oxoxox
from Ute 5 months ago
Are you guys running Mozilla by any chance?
from Deirdre 5 months ago
I have to agree with Susan. I sent my niece and nephews cards and little things in the mail all the time when they were little and I couldn't see them. They still remember that and tell me it got them through some dark times. They told me as grownups (dang, can't believe they are all 'grownups' now!) that it made a big difference to them. She'll remember. She'll know you always cared. She'll never forget that you always tried and were there for her. She'll always remember how loved she felt (and feels). **HUGS** to you, D.
from Tammy 5 months ago
You are welcome for all comments. I think that you are doing a good job with your niece. She's precious. (BTW, I updated the photos today on my blog. Fixed and added one more...) I hope your day is going well... I have only one more day to go after today, then it's a 3 day weekend! **HUGS**
from Tammy 5 months ago
Aww. I can understand. Not many people know that I raised my niece and nephew for three years. When I had to let them go, it broke my heart. If you ever need to talk or anything, I'm here for ya. So sorry you have to go through this.
from misty 5 months ago
Ooooh.. fancy new layout. I use Firefox,so dunno if that is a prob. All looks good now tho, and I can see perfectly. =) Keep ya chin up girly. Luvya, oxoxoxox
from Ute 5 months ago
She will always remember you for the one that was ALWAYS there for her. And for that, she will always be grateful. Keep on keepin' on, love. I know it's hard. You're doing a fantastic job at being a fabulous Aunt Deeda!! I love you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox <3><3><3><3><3><3><3><3
from Beth 5 months ago
oh! okay, first thing: damn, girl...i LOVE this layout! oh yeah... second, i know...one of the hardest things to do is to leave a child who doesn't want you to go. but doll, they need to learn that it's okay to let go, if only for a short while. that you--or their parent, friend, whatever--will return. that love doesn't stop because you're out of sight. it's those first steps to independance and self confidence that are so difficult...for everyone. but susan's got it right .keep coming back, and soon she'll learn to trust that. and if you can send her something between visits, then even better. you two are going to be okay...with that much love between you, how can it not.
from jude 5 months ago
It might be hard for her to understand but she will soon : ) When you see her cry, all you have to do is give her a reassuring smile :D Im sure that will bring a smile to her lips too! Take cares <3
from chita 5 months ago
As hard as it is, never let the kiddo see ya cry. It will only make them even more upset. Give them a loving smile and say the same thing everyday when you leave. "I will see you in so many hours" "or I will be back" or something ya know? It will become a routine and after a while kiddos get the hang of it. Thats what I did..then I would bawl my eyes out in the car where my daughter couldn't see me hehe. Then I really bawled my eyes out the first day I took her and..she ran right in and started playing..then remembered me and said "bye" and started playing again...I cried and cried and cried. lol
from rosescry 4 months ago

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